


Rock n' Roll Is A Prostitute.

by schizophrenic



Series: It's Gotta Be The Glitter. [4]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-14
Updated: 2010-06-14
Packaged: 2017-10-10 02:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/94625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schizophrenic/pseuds/schizophrenic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He just really wasn't used to this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rock n' Roll Is A Prostitute.

It was simple enough, well, Tommy thought so. The movies were in a messy pile next to the couch that Tommy was sprawled on. There was enough room for Adam, if he'd let Tommy lay his head on his lap as soon as he decided to sit. Of course that worked out all too well; in Ratliff's mind since Adam was upstairs somewhere that was not there, doing something that Tommy obviously could not see. It gave Tommy time to think though, about what his plan for the day was, oh yes, he had one, a good one.

Tell Adam his issue, simply. Or at least, try to see how he feels. Each could work perfectly fine. Tommy would probably say it during the time between the movie started and he started drinking. No, Tommy Joe wasn't going to get wasted and let the alcohol speak for him; he was going to try to get the words out on his own. The vodka would just give him a little nudge, like Adam did when they were in the UK. Speaking of which, Tommy was glad he was back in California, but then Adam had to do that Stripped thing on iheartradio the next day, which was fine with Tommy. Hopefully it'd up like Gridlock, minus the alcohol and drunken kisses.

"What are you doing up there?!" That question was kind of weird sounding when it actually came out of his mouth for some reason, but he wasn't sure how else to ask. "Hurry up, Babyboy!"

"I'm coming!" He heard Adam yell back down, but couldn't help but laugh. Not because it sounded perverted, though that made him laugh a little too, but because Adam didn't seem to be moving either way.

It took him a couple of moments, but Adam did walk down, his shoes off, and lack of make-up. Tommy couldn't remember the last time he saw him like that actually, which was weird, but Adam still looked like Adam, which was rather good for Tommy. Despite what he had decided, he sat up and let Adam have an actual seat, but leaned back against his arm.

"What movie did you put in?" Adam asked, seeming tired. It was pretty early, and Tommy was on the sleepy side too, but he didn't make it as obvious.

"Uhm, I think it was—eh it was either Interview with the Vampire or The Exorcist. It was a random movie out of a random case." He shrugged before he turned and reached over Adam to get the remote, but Lambert snatched it from him before he could turn the movie on.

"Well, I'd rather not get scared shitless, so I'm hoping for Brad Pitt as a vampire." He laughed, lightly, glancing down at Tommy with a little smile. It made Tommy feel all fuzzy inside, which the thought made him just feel weird. Fuzzy? That sounded so, fluffy, and fluffy sounded like a feather boa. Basically, bad analogy.

Tommy turned again and rested his chin on Adam's shoulder, smirking at him ever so slightly. It made him look feral for a moment or two, until his smirk softened into a smile. It wasn't innocent, since Tommy's mind was all over the place.

"Drink from me and live forever~" He chuckled then watched as Adam turned on the movie and Tommy just noticed that he had no real alcohol, but he didn't feel like getting up.

"I'd take you up on that, but I don't think you want me to—yeah." And just then Tommy understood what he was actually talking about. Would Tommy want Adam to put his mouth there? Well, actually, it probably wasn't much different from a girl doing it – even if it was a guy. Actually, there was a difference, a very obvious one. There goes his mind again.

He couldn't respond though, since his eyes shifted to the screen and he cuddled up against Adam since he was warm and it was cold as hell in his house. Adam didn't mind, and wrapped an arm around the smaller male, but then noticed that Tommy was now looking at him and he didn't understand why. He went to question, but Tommy's words cut him off.

"Adam, why do you do the things that you do on stage? Like pulling my hair, and pointing at me with specific lyrics? I know we said we'd do stuff like that on stage, but it's more convincing than I thought it'd be."

Adam stared at him for a long moment, trying to think of how to answer. It was difficult, since Tommy was supposed to be _straight_ so his answer had to abide by that. So, he couldn't simply say what he wanted. Luckily Adam had taught himself to control what he wanted to say when he needed to.

"I thought that was what you wanted. I mean, does it bother you?" Adam sounded concerned, and the movie was completely forgotten, even if Brad Pitt's voice was sexy.

Tommy lifted his head from off of Adam's shoulder and turned to fully face him, shaking his head and removing his hair that _was_ neatly tucked behind his ear. It was in his face now, and out of habit Adam reached forward to move it back.

"It doesn't bother me at all, but it's like things like this. You touch my hair, kiss me, and things like that when we aren't on stage." Tommy's voice was even, to show that he wasn't angry, but Adam couldn't tell. It wasn't like directly after the AMAs when Tommy was excited about the kiss, it was kind of like that night when Tommy was almost cryptically talking about the kiss looking forced. Tommy was just strange sometimes, he guessed.

"I do that with a lot of people, Tommy." Adam's voice had dropped a bit, and Tommy knew that he had to get to his point soon because if he didn't Adam would get the wrong idea if he hadn't already. Actually, yeah, he had.

"But not with Monte—okay, bad example," Adam's eyes had shifted away from Tommy's face and he sighed which was making Tommy feel rather bad. Adam didn't look good sad, and Tommy really didn't want to see that anymore. "Adam . . ."

Glambert looked back over at him and went to speak again, but Tommy grabbed him by the back of his neck, because he _had_ to kiss him. His words weren't getting out fast enough, and Adam looked too upset about this. Adam gasped, just a little against Tommy's lips but settled before Tommy pulled away, but didn't pull him back because he didn't understand. He looked as confused as he felt, but he wasn't upset anymore.

"What was that?" Adam asked and Tommy bit at his lip, trying to get his words straight in his head. No alcohol to help him this time.

"Okay, so, I'm just going to spit this out, since I can't talk right and my head hurts—and . . . and I like it when you do those things on stage; and I like the little kisses and how we are outside of shows. I don't like it when I'm not getting attention from you on stage either, which is why I'm constantly walking over—"

"What exactly are you trying to say, Gli—Tommy." Adam wasn't sure if the nickname would be appropriate at that moment, because he wasn't entirely sure about what was happening.

"I think I'm bent, like really bent. I know I said I was straight and I totally wasn't expecting something like this, but ah . . . yeah." Tommy wasn't looking at Adam, because he was worried about his facial expression. Well, he wasn't laughing, that was good. Tommy's heart had to be in his throat though, and he bet Adam could hear it loud and clear.

Lestat had just come on to the screen, for the real first time, good timing in some sort of weird way. Adam placed his fingers under Tommy's chin, tilting his head up. He was smiling, quite brightly at that. He was never trying to bend Tommy, honestly, and he wasn't completely sure if it was completely his own doing. He didn't know if Tommy had ever had any other interest in males. That didn't matter too much, he felt that he needed to, somehow, help Tommy with this.

"So, you think you're interested in guys now? Like, do you think you're bi?"   
"No, I don't think I'm bi, since really the only guy I feel this way about is you. And I call guys cute, but you call girls cute too." Adam was actually downright sexy, but let's not jump ahead of yourself Tommy Joe.

Adam wrapped both arms around the smaller male, stroking his shoulder, but that smile of his was still there. At least Tommy was calmer now, knowing that he wouldn't have a bad reaction come from all of this. There was a hand in his hair now, trailing over the blonde part of his hair so that his bangs wouldn't leave its place behind his ear. Yeah, that was kind of calming too.

"How long have you felt like this?" He asked, pulling Tommy's head closer to his chest so that it could rest there instead.

"Probably somewhere around Gridlock; after the AMAs I was confused and arguing with myself, and afterward my mind was kind of gone. I mean, at the Gridlock after party I kissed you again and sure I said that it was because I was so wasted Monte looked like Madonna, but I knew that I was kissing you, and I did it on purpose."

Adam laughed, because he did remember Tommy hitting on Monte while they were there. He glanced down at the smaller male and brought his head up to kiss his temple.

"You're too cute, you know that right?" Adam said softly, and Tommy's face flushed, even though Adam had told him before, actually, many times before. He remembered the audition. When Tommy was leaving because Adam told him that he already had a guitarist – Monte – he called him back and said something along the lines of, 'You know, you're cute, can you play anything else?' When that happened Tommy really paid no mind to it.

"No, I didn't know that." Tommy laughed against Adam's shirt, clinging to it a little with one hand.

Now that Tommy had all of this off of his chest he felt way better and he didn't think that he'd have to worry about acting weird around Adam, but now he was kind of curious about something.

"So wait, what about when you kissed me when we went to the UK?" Tommy's eyes were on Adam now, he wasn't smiling anymore. He was grinning and actually watching the movie.

"It was on impulse, like I said. Have you seen yourself, Tommy? I constantly have the urge to do that, and this," he reached forward and traced a finger along his jaw then down to his lips, "but I don't because I have more control over myself then that. Normally anyway."

Tommy pursed his lips against Adam's finger, not purposely trying to kiss it, but yeah it happened anyway. He was actually just thinking about what Adam had just said. People had called Tommy attractive before, sure, but it never really got his attention too much. Maybe it was because it wasn't a guy—not wait, guys called him attractive too.

"So what made you lose control then?" Tommy had to ask, really. He wasn't a cat – despite popular belief – so curiosity wouldn't kill him.

"Seeing you wet." Adam said almost too simply, as if his words weren't as perverse as they sounded. Of course he knew that they were.

"I guess that makes sense." No, nothing made sense at that point, Ratliff.

For a moment, the Glambulge was in his mind. Why? Only because he couldn't see it from where he was sitting. He wouldn't deliberately look at it, since then he'd get caught since Adam was looking at him right then. His eyes were pretty, though Tommy had noticed that before, but now they were sharp, and dark in a sense. That looked too familiar.

His head ducked down for a moment and he backed off of Adam, unsure of his own thoughts at this point, but was asking what was happening okay? Like, he had been on the opposite end of this situation with girls, but not like this with a guy. And the movie—oh, what movie? Tommy didn't even remember putting the DVD in when he came into Adam's house. Yeah, it didn't matter anymore. Adam leaned over to where his Glitterbaby was, fingers caressing the skin on his cheek, lips barely an inch apart. His breath was warm against Tommy's mouth.

"I'm going to bend you a little more." The words sounded a little raunchier then Tommy would have expected. Maybe it was just the timing, because Tommy didn't think about that until Adam was licking his way into his mouth, tasting at his tongue and lips.

Adam was trying to be careful with this, Tommy didn't seem unsure, but Adam was. This wasn't completely expected, sure he noticed how Tommy had been recently, but he thought that it was just . . . well, Tommy being Tommy. He always had weird mindsets with things, and Adam couldn't always read him. It only really seemed evident that something more interesting could be happening when Adam noticed that they seemed to have an issue with sleeping in separate beds. Tommy was nice and warm though, and he cuddled a lot when he slept which was always welcomed. Adam never told Tommy that, because he was sure he knew because he always woke up with his head in Adam's chest.

Tommy scooted closer, their lips already apart from each other and he swung his leg over Adam's thigh. His eyes left Adam's, wandering down due to nervousness and the sudden urge to drink again. He didn't even know what had happened, or what was happening. They never agreed to anything, and now they were kissing and the glambulge – which Tommy had just noticed because his eyes moved to the _wrong_ place – had come up to say hi. It wasn't awkward, but for Tommy Joe it was unsettling. Remember his thoughts while they were in the pool? He may like Adam, but that didn't mean that his ass would like the glambulge in the same way.

"I don't think that's possible," his reply – though delayed – made Adam laugh; "if you do you'll end up snapping me in half."

"And that wouldn't be sexy." Adam was still laughing, but softly, his thumb stroking a long Tommy's cheek, hand on his neck.

It took him a while to fully decide to let him go, then actually let him go, and even then he was still extremely close to him. Adam draped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him over and Tommy glanced up at him, brown eyes blinking slowly and curiously.

"Okay, so what's happening?" Tommy asked, before actually thinking about making that sentence more specific.

"Louis just—"

"No, I mean with us, Babyboy." Tommy corrected, his face nestled against Adam's shirt. It was comfortable there, so he couldn't help himself.

Adam glanced down at him, his head cocked to the side. His hand, the one that wasn't occupied by Tommy reached for the remote, and he turned off the television. The silence made the room feel rather vacant, and Tommy frowned for a second or to because it felt weird.

"Whatever you want to happen, Tommy; I've felt this way since Gridlock, I just never said anything since you kept saying that you were straight. You weren't convincing with it, so it was getting harder and harder to not be attracted to you. Ugh, this seems like a soap opera." Adam laughed again, and of course it was kind of contagious and Tommy found himself laughing as well, but it echoed a little and that awkward feeling was back.

Even if he was laughing, Adam began to feel a little reticent. Even if Tommy hadn't yet spoken about what he wanted, he was sure what that answer would be and wasn't sure what they would do about the fans. Since they had kissed on television, he knew of people who still wondered who Tommy was, and of people that wanted Adam and Tommy together. But the real point was, most people that know of Tommy know that he's straight, or was (still might be, who knows) straight. Basically, Tommy could be put in a pretty awkward situation if out of the blue it's kind of like "Hello world, I'm attracted to men!" when there was nothing really leading up to that, well, that fans could see. Adam could pretend to be lax, but really he was kind of worried about this.

"Can we try this out, and see what happens? We aren't like together until we're sure that this won't be stupid, maybe this can be, like a practice run?" Tommy sounded unsure, but had a grin that let Adam nod without bringing up all the things in his head.

"Yeah, and if we screw up?" Adam asked, his smirk in his voice as he tugged at the black bangs that again were in Tommy's face.

"We fix it, fuck, or end it. We won't know until that happens I guess."

Adam kind of blanked out when he heard the word fuck. That should have been expected from Tommy, but it wasn't. His little issue wasn't as blatant anymore, so he didn't have to worry about that. He disregarded his words for the time being, and shook his head, laughing a little dryly.

"I wish I thought like you sometimes, Tommy." And he leaned over to press a chaste little kiss to Tommy's cheek and he shook his head.

"I highly doubt that." He bit down on his lip and moved over slightly when he saw that Adam was starting to get up.

Tommy leaned back against the couch, extremely tempted to turn the television back on so that it wasn't so quiet. He could hear water running from the bathroom, so that had to be where Adam was, but Tommy didn't pay too much attention to that. Well, that was a lie. When the place was quiet like it was that was all he could pay attention to. His eyes lowered and he drummed his fingers against his knee, the sound oddly enough calming him even more.

Adam came back, a washcloth that was dripping to some extent in his hand and he sat down next to Tommy again, using his free hand to lightly grab his face. Tommy kind of cringed, since Adam's hands were wet.

"What are you doing?" Tommy asked, and tried to scoot back, but the arm of the couch was in his way.

"I want to see what you look like without any makeup." Adam said, his voice soft and though Tommy would prefer leaving the little bit of eyeliner he had on still on his face he nodded.

Tommy pouted and closed his eyes, feeling an _extremely_ cold brush over his eye lids. Adam's hand was as warm as ever despite this, so it was nice in a "This is so an oxymoron!" kind of way. And yes, Tommy did know words like oxymoron.

"You're pretty." Adam mumbled, pecking the cleaned eye then starting to clean off the other.

"That's fucking cold." Tommy squirmed just a little, but Adam didn't pause since he was almost done. He wasn't wearing that much eyeliner anyway.

"What? What I said?"

"No, the rag; its cold as shit. Are you almost done?" Tommy opened the eye that wasn't being worked on slightly – half lidded.

Adam chuckled and lowered the cloth and sat it on his lap then reached up to lightly trail his thumb over Tommy's eyelashes. They were quite long, and Adam was sure – up until now – that it was just the mascara. Shaking his head he let him go and Tommy reopened his eyes, blinking slowly then rubbing them with his palms. Adam just smiled at him though in an admiring kind of way, and he shook his head.

"Alright, so later tonight, I was invited to this party – you're coming with me – and tomorrow we have the iheartradio shows. I have the set list up stairs if you want to read it again. I know we rehearsed and all but—"

Tommy stared at Adam idly, half wondering what he was talking about and half wondering if he knew that his leg was now wet because of the washcloth. That's where Tommy was looking while he was talking. Wet pants were _totally_ a good place to keep eyes so that they don't wander a couple inches.

"Your leg is wet. If you were a girl this would be awkward." Tommy laughed and took the wet rag, sitting it on Adam's shoulder again.

"It's not like it's over my—"

"Glambulge? That thing really likes to say hi doesn't it? If you get a boner during a concert the fans will be shaking hands with it." Tommy muttered, grin plastered on his face, but it was as if what he had said wasn't odd at all.

"What the hell?" Adam laughed, rubbed his own cheek. "So first, it's long enough to reach the fans? And second, since when does it have hands?"

"I don't know? It's the glambulge; you probably have mystical glittery hand-making powers." And to humor himself Tommy raised his hand and shook his fingers in a 'pixie dust' sort of movement then smiled.

Adam laughed so hard that he had to curl a little, which made Tommy move a little, but he wrapped his arms around Adam's shoulders.

The next day wasn't exactly as simple though. They went to the party the day before, and Tommy almost got drunk, but Adam stopped him since, yeah hangover on stage could suck majorly. Either way, Tommy was a bit out of it, but he was fine otherwise. Fever was fun _of course_, and Tommy found himself staring at Adam constantly. It wasn't even like an on purpose glance, his eyes shifted there and stayed there for long moments, even though all he got most of the time was a major shot of Adam's back side. Tommy, briefly, wondered how many freckles were there, but yeah, he mental hit himself for thinking so perversely.

At a certain point though, Adam was taken away for freshen up, or whatever – since Tommy honestly had no idea what he was doing – and Tommy walked over to Monte to chat about nothing in particular and gave quick glances to cat calls and fans that did or said something that caught his attention. Sure some of them were pretty but, he didn't care, that was what he did normally anyway.

When Adam came back Tommy smiled helplessly, looking down at his bass until he heard Adam begin to speak. Actually, he didn't look up until he heard Adam mention Valentine's Day. Now, maybe his hearing was failing him from being around guitars and standing _way_ too close to the amp during rehearsal, but did Adam just say that he was alone the day before? Tommy wasn't too worried about that, but what bothered him exactly, was Adam saying that he was single.

Tommy's mind for a moment cut off, and he stared at the side of Adam's face, then he looked down. At times, Tommy Joe's mind moved a little too fast, and it kind of did this time. Single?

"Damn . . ." Tommy whispered, back now turned to where Adam was and he glanced over, noticing that the cameraman was now giving him a look. He shook his head to dismiss him and sighed.

Even while he was playing he was distracted like hell. Tommy, even though he hadn't been asked, never said that he was single. Even to Mia, actually, he _told_ Mia what had happened. He was pretty damn happy on the phone too. It never occurred to him however, that Adam could have been doing this because he didn't want them to be a press target when they weren't even really together; he just assumed that Adam wasn't being honest to him.

When they were finally allowed to go, Tommy got backstage as fast as he could, pausing before he got to the door because he heard Adam calling him.

"What is it?" Tommy asked, because well, he couldn't hear him and he wanted to go. His voice showed how he felt though, and he chewed on his bottom lip, trying to keep himself quiet.

"Wait, what's wrong?" Mind reading again? Oh, Tommy kind of wanted him to do that now.

"Adam," and Tommy paused to make sure that no one could hear them, which was easy, everyone else was father back into the room, "why did you say that you were single? Better, why the hell did you say that you were alone yesterday? If you didn't want to say that you were—"

"I said it because I don't want them to know." Adam's voice had deflated, like the day before when Tommy was trying to ease into saying how he felt.

"Why not? It's not like I care what they think about us." Tommy's voice had rose, and he took a step back towards the door. Adam out of instinct stepped forward.

"I do, and Tommy like we said this isn't even _real_, so we don't want them getting crazy over something that might not last."

Tommy stared at him, his lips parted but he didn't speak and he laughed dryly and shook his head, turning halfway and placing his hand to the door. He wasn't even mad actually. Sure he was loud, but he was hurt and he wasn't sure why. Yeah, in the back of his head he understood what Adam was saying, but he jumped into this a little too fast. He hadn't even completely come to terms yet. The day before, he told a _guy_ after being _straight_ that he liked him. Then they started _faux_-dating and now this. Maybe it was the alcohol from the day before.

"I gotta go." Tommy said softly, eyes shifting up Adam's face; that frown making Tommy just feel worse, but he walked from the building, pulling his cell phone from his pocket to check Twitter, but not tweet since that would be bad.

He was even worse at home, and he avoiding his roommates since he surely wasn't going to talk to them about it. They didn't even know that he was questioning his straight. He was locked in his room, and curled up on his bed.

"I think I just fucked it . . ." He mumbled and sighed, burying his face in his pillow.


End file.
